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Adult Content Blog Posts ETC Sexual Wellness Talk

Where is My Orgasm?

Recently, some of you may have noticed me talking a lot about my ‘missing’ orgasms. It’s not like I don’t have them, they are just very hard to come by. It makes me sad, mad, frustrated, and sometimes a little crazy. My own personal mental and physical health issues are huge factors, I know this, but I can’t be alone. I need to know that I am not the only person who can’t cum within mere minutes of diddling.

My solo orgasm, with a toy, took approx 25 minutes. The average ‘aroused’ vulva having person takes about 20 minutes to orgasm, while the average penis having person only takes about 5 minutes. That is just the average. In reality, I’m with a partner that has a hard time lasting 5 minutes, and I last much longer than the ‘average’ 25 minutes. Not really a great mix. We’re definitely working on it all. With him we’ve tried cock rings and other methods, which seem to be working great, so don’t feel too bad.

Some (bio)logical reasons for my lack of orgasms or difficulty finding them could be my anti anxiety meds or my PCOS. It’s fairly common for anti anxiety meds to reduce libido so that could be something to explore. I am currently taking 40mg of Prozac every day, which isn’t the highest dosage but I take it alongside Buspirone. Prozac is one of the worst SSRIs for sexual drive, so there’s really no surprise there. I am actually going to start halving my dosage gradually to see how that affects everything. Unfortunately, it can take up to 2 months to start to see any changes.

With PCOS, my hormones are all sorts of fucked up so I’m sure that plays into it sometimes. Also, with PCOS, changes in libido are very common. Low testosterone levels usually lead to a low libido. On the other hand, like me, high testosterone issues lead to high libido, but it also leads to some other not-so-attractive issues. Besides libido, PCOS may be a factor in sensitivity and mental health problems surrounding the illness.

I’ve also found that a lot of my issues come from mental blocks. My ex was abusive as I have talked about many times. He used orgasms as a ‘punishment’ when he was upset. He ended up bruising my pelvic bone a few times with how rough he was with me. I ended up having to continuously fake my orgasms just to get him to stop. As a result, I didn’t have my first partnered orgasm until a couple months into my relationship with my husband. I was sick of lying about it and I told him that I had been faking. It wasn’t until a few days ago that I really understood why.

Within the last few days I have been diving deep into my past and traumas to maybe find something there. Yes, I was abused as a child, yes, I had an extremely abusive ex, but I never saw anything there to indicate why those events were affecting what was happening now, with the exception of the fact that I still have some insecurities about whether or not I ‘deserve’ to be worshiped and given orgasms, even solo.

Most of the time I feel like my partner is getting bored or is hurting his arm/legs/jaw in some way because it’s taking too long. He has REPEATEDLY told me this is not the case. He loves making me cum no matter how long it takes because he likes to think of it as a fun challenge. One of his favorite things is watching me get off and maybe that pressure doesn’t help. The idea that I can’t a lot of the time makes me feel so self conscious and frustrated. I feel like I’m letting both of us down. I’m a sex blogger for fucks sake. My job is to have orgasms.

I also found out a weird thing. Before my accident, when I hated my body, I was entirely able to have partnered orgasms and easy solo orgasms. Now, I love my body and it’s the hardest thing in the world. Maybe before I thought about my body so entirely that the other stuff never came to mind, and now I have nothing to distract myself from the possibility of being annoying.

As for solo orgasms, I feel like a major factor in my issues with those is the expectation of an orgasm. I cannot stop thinking about what will get me off versus what feels really good. I mean, it all feel amazing, but even when I’m just playing with myself, I get the anxiety thoughts of ‘this is taking too long, you’re not normal’.

I was reading another sex blog the other day and the author was saying that 10 minutes to orgasm was a long time and it was frustrating for her. While I do understand that every body and mind is different, I would KILL to have an orgasm in 10 minutes. This is definitely the type of stuff that I should not be focusing on, but most of the time I can’t help it when thoughts like this pop into my head.

My partner has been so supportive through all of this. His sex drive isn’t as high as mine so sometimes he doesn’t really mind, but he definitely sympathizes with how frustrating this is for me, someone who used to be a 2+ times per day masturbater. While I’m waiting to see if reducing my medication dosage makes things better, we’re still going to work on everything as if that isn’t going to help. Hopefully, eventually, I can focus of the moment instead of that huge pressure to have an orgasm.

Since sex drive, wetness, and most other things that go along with ‘sexual dysfunction’ are not an issue, we’ll continue on the path of toys. Since both of my jobs are all about sex toys, I have a plethora. Changing it up seems to help, but when I’m having a particularly rough couple of weeks, I like to stick to what I know. That way there are no surprises (good or bad). This helps me stay more focused because I know what that particular toy does for me.

When I am having problems for a long period of time, the thing that has worked for me is extreme distraction. I usually blast a fan and some music just to get my mind off of life. The fan is great white noise and the music I chose usually has really harsh beats that I can find a toy or finger rhythm to.

The most important thing that I can express to anyone who is reading this who is having issues is communicate. Whether that be to a partner, a doctor, a therapist, etc, just talk. Make sure the people who need to know (and should know) what is going on inside your head are kept in the loop. Also, of you’re considering going on or off medication ALWAYS talk to a doctor. These types of medications are no joke.

You can always reach out to me on Twitter, Instagram, and via email thepinkspacelime@gmail.com

Here is some information on anxiety medications and libido:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/antidepressants-decreased-my-sex-drive_n_7024738
https://www.buzzfeed.com/caseygueren/feeling-happy-but-not-sexy
https://www.health.harvard.edu/womens-health/when-an-ssri-medication-impacts-your-sex-life
https://www.thecut.com/2018/02/ssri-sex-drive-side-effects-anxiety.html

Here is some more information on what PCOS is:
https://www.pcosaa.org/symptoms
https://www.womenshealth.gov/a-z-topics/polycystic-ovary-syndrome
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pcos/symptoms-causes/syc-20353439

PCOS and Libido:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4233312/
https://www.floliving.com/pcos-libido/
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19998507/pcos-affects-your-sex-life/
https://pcos.com/low-sex-drive-and-pcos/

Categories
Adult Content Affiliate Blog Posts Product Review Sex Toys

Blush Novelties – Aria – Vibra Wand – Cerise

When I saw that Blush had a pink and lime toy I just HAD to get it, and I am so glad I did. This is definitely one of my favorite mini toys. This ultra mini wand is great for travel and for beginners. It packs a punch and it’s super discreet. This is a wonderful clitoral and nipple stimulation toy. Duel use is always a plus for me!

The Aria Vibra Wand is made of 100% body safe ABS plastic plus a smooth silicone vibrating head. The whole thing is so satiny and luscious. It takes 2 AAA batteries that are inserted below the twistable bottom cap. It’s ALMOST 100% waterproof. You can clean it fine, use it in the shower, and be a squirter no problem, but I would not recommend submerging it for more than a couple of seconds.

It has 5 speeds and 5 patterns. Simply hold the power button down for about 3 seconds and you’re off. The patterns aren’t mind blowing, but the speeds will get you to where you need to go. The vibration range is pretty amazing and it’s a lovely rumbly vibe instead of a ‘buzz your clit off’ vibe. That’s always a huge plus for me.

This wand is the PERFECT travel size. The whole thing is about 4.75 inches and the head is about 1.5 inches. This makes it a great size for all hands and the head is long enough for us BBWs. Plus the shape of the body makes it super easy to grip. I personally hold it like a pencil (or some other writing instrument) and use it that way to diddle myself.

I pretty big negative for me was the flexibility of the head. As I have mentioned more times than I ever thought I would, I am a clit smasher with toys. If I can’t put adequate pressure on my bean, it’s not working for me. Luckily, the silicone head isn’t attached to a super long, flexible neck, so if you just push a little bit, you can pin it against the top of the handle.

Overall I would definitely recommend this adorable ultra mini wand. It’s relatively quiet for how powerful it is so it’s great for vacation or that mid day pick me up at work. Whether you’re a beginner or wand expert, this would be a pretty amazing toy to add to your collection. There are also 4 different color combinations, so it fits anyone’s style! Also, with a 5 year warranty, why not give it a try!?


You can get this product right HERE


I was sent the Aria Vibra Wand for free in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!

Categories
Affiliate Blog Posts Product Review Sex Toys

Satisfyer Pro Penguin

This was my first experience with an air pulse toy and I have to admit that I really enjoyed myself. I am extremely excited to try more! I originally bought this cutie because, well, look at it! It’s fucking adorable. It has a goddamn bow tie, how could I not buy it?! I was a little hesitant because of the size. When I played with the demo in the store I was worried that the vacuum tunnel that goes on my clit would be too small, or maybe the pulses would be too much. None of that turned out to be the case.

The Satisfyer Penguin Pro is made of body safe ABS plastic, and the tube that goes on the clitoris is made of silicone. The whole toy is only 4.3 inches, so it’s a small baby. It has a magnetic charger that attaches to the bottom and it stays on really well. The tummy is where you’ll find the on/off buttons. It’s a little backwards because you have to press the bottom of the button to turn it up, which is usually the opposite. You’ll get used to that really quick though. Since purchasing this toy, I’ve had the opportunity to try a lot of other air pulse products and I’ve noticed that some are very loud. This one doesn’t really have that problem…until it gets wet. Then it’s like a fucking EDM club on your clit. So many ‘wub wubs’.

It felt so good…too good. It was my mission with this toy to actually have an orgasm, no matter how long it took. Every time I got close and my clit would swell, suddenly it became too much, almost every time. Everything down there became super ticklish and I literally started giggling every time. It wasn’t a bad ticklish though. I was having a lot of fun and I was easily able to get back into it.

When I finally came…HOLY SHIT it was powerful. Even so, this orgasm was much different than usual. Whenever I’m using a toy and I cum, I immediately need to chuck whatever toy I’m using across the room because I get SO sensitive. Not this time. I was able to ride it out. I was amazed at the feeling. When I was done and cleaning myself up, I noticed that because it’s an air pulse, my fluids/lube was all bubbly. This whole experience with this toy was SO MUCH FUN.

Something I learned after a little while of owning this was what the air pulse actually does to the body. Sometimes, someone who has a clit will get less sensitive due to things like chemo and child birth. Using an air pulse toy can possibly reverse that! The pulses bring all the blood and nerves to the end of the clit and actually restimulate them. Now, everyone is different, but I thought that was super incredible to learn!

I definitely recommend this little cutie for anyone who is new to toys. This product isn’t intimidating at all and it’s very simple to use. Plus, the orgasms you’ll get are TOTALLY worth it!


You can get this ADORABLE little toy right HERE


I purchased this product with my own funds. If you wish to help me purchase more products to review head to my ‘Affiliates‘ page or use the link above to purchase this product. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!

Categories
Between the Sheets Blog Posts ETC Talk

Between the Sheets

Hey everyone! This is a super short update and announcement blog. Not only have I started up body positive modeling (YAY) but I also got a part time retail job at an amazing adult shop!! My life is officially FULL of amazing sex related things. I am so fucking happy!!

A major announcement that I wanted to tell you is that I am starting an advice thread/column/post called ‘Between the Sheets’! Once a month (or more) I’m going to be posting a Q’s that ya’ll have sent to me via email, social media, etc, and I will be answering them all. Sex, toys, relationships, kinks, lions tigers, bears, etc, nothing is off the table with this. Ask away. I will also have guest educators on the blog who can elaborate and for questions that I cannot confidently answer alone.

If you want to send in a question or volunteer to be a guest, please email me at thepinkspacelime@gmail.com. You can DM me on social media but I cannot promise to read everything that comes through there. The first ‘Between the Sheets’ will be posted on September 5th!

To keep up with my goings on be sure to follow me on Twitter @pinkspacelime and as always if you are interested in working with me, having me review your products, have a toy suggestion, or anything else, contact me here!

Categories
Blog Posts Product Review Sex Toys

Reece and Rose Mini Massage Wand

Ya girl got her first wand! I am in LOVE with this thing. The color was the first thing that drew me to it because teal is one of my favorite colors, but also, WAND. This wand is sleek, sexy, and powerful. It quickly made its way to the top of my favorites list within a couple of uses. A bonus is that the owner of the company is such a sweetheart. Seriously, please, go follow them on Instagram right now.

The Reece and Rose Mini Massage Wand is cordless, rechargeable, and 100% water proof. The wand is made of body safe, medical grade silicone which is amazing. It has 9 vibration strengths and 20 vibration patterns! The whole wand is approximately 8 inches long and 2 inches wide, so it’s super portable PLUS it’s really quiet, so using it on vacation, or even at work is totally something you can do. The padded texture on the handle is also incredible. It’s so soft but easy to grip.

One of the major things that I love about this thing is the size of the vibrating head. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I have a lot of labia. Most toys that are used for clitoral stimulation are built with the average body type in mind. Having more of a body can sometimes be complicated, but not this time. The size of the head on this wand is perfect. It slipped between my labia with ease and got right to work. So, for all my big vulva having beauties out there, this toy is a must buy.

When I finally got to play with the vibration settings, I had so much fun. I usually don’t particularly care about patterns in a vibrator once I find THE ONE, but with this beauty, there were multiple ‘ones’. That has never been my experience with any toy, so I was pleasantly surprised.

During my first solo use, I came in almost record time of about 5 minutes. I had no idea what to expect, but I sure as hell did not expect it to feel this amazing. The second time around I experimented a bit more. I found the ‘spot of the day’ on my clit and then tucked the wand between my legs. I then used my hips to grind the wand against the ‘SOTD’. It took me a little bit longer to achieve orgasm but it was worth it. It felt wonderful and I wasn’t impatient at all.

Partnered use was SO different. My partner held the vibrating head against my clit in a way that I didn’t think I would enjoy, but woah. I ended up squirting! I haven’t done that with a toy in YEARS. Needless to say, we were both pleasantly surprised.

You should really consider buying this amazing, wonderful, beautiful, orgasm-inducing mini wand. You’ll be supporting a new sexual wellness company and a wonderful human. Also, Reece and Rose should be releasing new toys any day now!


You can get this product right HERE


I was sent the Reece and Rose Mini Massage Wand for free in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!

Categories
Blog Posts ETC List Podcasts Sex Talk

The Best Sex Podcasts 2019

Podcasts are amazing. They can be educational, entertaining, or all of the above. Being a sex blog, I decided to share some of my favorite sex podcasts that you can find on almost all streaming platforms. I chose these based on the information they share, how entertaining they were to listen to, and the type of topics they discuss.

I focused on podcasts that had a broad spectrum of material and didn’t focus on anything too specific. There are so many wonderful kink, BDSM, polyamory, queer, female, etc, focused podcasts out there. Eventually I will be writing blog posts for all of those topics, but for now, I wanted to keep it simple.

The five podcasts I have listed below are in no particular order. That would have been WAY too complicated and I didn’t want you to go into this list with any preconceived notions that I had any favorites. They are all fantastic. If you have any questions or recommendations for podcasts we should add to this list, comment below or email me at thepinkspacelime@gmail.com.

Sluts and Scholars

Nicoletta Heidegger is a licensed MFT and sexologist and Simone is an actor-turned-law-student who really likes to talk about sex. Together, they chat with folks from across sexuality, kink and professional spectrums about desire, pleasure, shame, stigma and (of course) bodily functions.

With a combination of irreverence and expertise, we talk about any subject, even more sensitive ones, like HIV stigma and non-offending minor-attracted persons. What else is on the docket? Anything remotely related to sexual, reproductive and bodily autonomy; from the indigenous menstrual practices of the Hupa Valley tribe, to beauty confidence advice from Dita von Teese, anal sex pro tips from Jessica Drake, non-consensual objectification with Amber Heard and what it’s REALLY like being in a 24/7 BDSM relationship.

Sluts and Scholars is raw, funny, and educational. I have listened to almost every episode of this podcast in the last week. The hosts are so entertaining and passionate about everything they talk about. Their banter is wonderful and it always keeps the episode going. The guests are really professional and educated on the topics being discussed.

The newest episode (111) is SO powerful. They discuss the importance of acceptance of sexuality, sex workers, and sex education across the world, specifically on social media. This is such a hot button topic at the moment and they don’t hold back. You get to learn what their own experiences are with censorship, plus you get to hear from a couple of guests who have a wonderful perspective on this issue.

Find Sluts and Scholars on most podcast streaming platforms and make sure to follow them on social media!
Website: https://slutsscholars.libsyn.com/
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/slutsandscholars
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SlutsScholars
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/slutsandscholars/

The Manwhore Podcast

The Manwhore Podcast is hosted by stand up comedian, Billy Procida. The name speaks for itself, but this podcast is real provocative. The most recent episode features Dante Nero (227), and one of the top episodes of all time involves the host is literally getting a ‘happy ending’ massage during the episode (157). That one is particularly fun.

This is a sex podcast, so of course there’s gonna be some shit you don’t agree with. If you just keep listening, there are so many amazing episodes that deal with contemporary topics such as body positivity, sexual orientation, gender, sex workers, and sexual freedoms. This is a really great podcast to listen to if you want to keep up with the world of sex.

His Patreon has all sorts of fun NSFW content including bonus episodes, conversations, announcements, and some naughty nudes. He also hosts ManwhoreCon once a year and I am actually publishing this post one day after the event ends for 2019. ManwhoreCon is definitely on my list of events to attend in the future. Apparently it’s loads (punny) of fun.

Find The Manwhore Podcast on most podcast streaming platforms and make sure to follow Billy on social media!
Website: https://www.manwhorepod.com/
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/manwhorepodcast
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheBillyProcida
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/billyisprocida/

Bawdy Storytelling

Bawdy Storytelling is a wild fucking ride! This podcast is hosted by Dixie De La Tour, a professional sexual folklorist and storyteller. This podcast has opened my eyes to new things. I’ve laughed and I’ve cried (mostly from laughing). Overall, this is a really unique podcast experience.

The title song ‘My Vagina is 8 Miles Wide’ by Storm Large is such a catchy song. It makes me smile, sing along, and prepares me for the journey that is this episodes story. Each week Dixie introduces the storyteller and then that person tells us a story. The most recent stories involve vaginismus (83) and polyamory (82).

The stories are told in such a way that truly make you see the situation. The amount of detail that is put into these performances is astounding. Sometimes they are told by professionals, and sometimes it’s just a regular ol’ person like you and me. There are so many secrets spilled and fetishes destigmatized. You will definitely connect with these stories, and if not, hey, you learned something new, maybe even about yourself.

Find Bawdy Storytelling on most podcast streaming platforms and make sure to follow the podcast on social media!
Website: https://bawdystorytelling.com/
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Bawdy
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Bawdy
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bawdystorytelling/

Sex Talk With My Mom

This podcast was actually suggested to me by Billy from The Manwhore Podcast, and I am so happy he did! This podcast is fucking hilarious. Sex Talk with My Mom is hosted by KarenLee and her son Cam Poter. He is a stand up comedian and she is a sex educator and self proclaimed ‘cougar’.

I would have never thought that a SEX podcast with a dude and his mom would be so amazing. I love that the episodes aren’t too long either. I think the longest episodes are around 65 minutes, but those still go by really quick because these two are just hilarious.

This is more of a stories and comedy podcast. There’s not too much scientific talk, but it’s really fun to hear about everyone’s experiences with different sexual encounters. Sometimes they have professional/famous guests and sometimes it’s call in guests that are just regular people.

Find Sex Talk with My Mom on most podcast streaming platforms and make sure to follow the podcast on social media!
Website: http://www.sextalkwithmymom.com/
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SexTalkWithMyMom
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SexTalkPodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sextalkwithmymom/

Shameless Sex

Shameless Sex podcast is hosted by Amy Baldwin, a sex and relationship coach (among other amazing things), and April Lampert, the VP of Hot Octopuss pleasure toys. “Together, Amy and April combined forces to create the Shameless Sex Podcast, inspiring radical self-love, sexual empowerment, and shame-free intimacy. Shameless Sex is unabashed real talk about sexuality with a playful twist. From Pussy Praising to How to Be A Badass in the Bedroom, Amy and April are not afraid to tell it like it is.”(s)

This podcast delves into all types of topics and they deal with a lot more of the technical/scientific side of sexuality. They give you tips and tricks for making your sex life amazing and understanding and accepting your own sexuality. The hosts are funny, entertaining, and could seriously be my best friends.

This is a really great podcast to listen to while your at work. Not too many ‘laugh out loud’ moments, so you won’t get those weird looks as you might with the others on this list. This podcast is quite mellow so it’s really lovely to relax to.

Find Shameless Sex on most podcast streaming platforms and make sure to follow the podcast on social media!
Website: https://www.shamelesssex.com/
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/shamelesssex
Twitter: https://twitter.com/shameless_sex
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shamelesssexpodcast/

Runners Up

Categories
Blog Posts Product Review Sex Toys

Blush Novelties – Rose – Lipstick Vibe

I am the queen of kitsch, so when I had the opportunity to try a vibrator that looks like lipstick, I was SOLD. This little beauty is like the ‘basic bitch’ of the vibrator world. There’s nothing fancy about it (but it’s SUPER pretty!) and it only has one speed…strong. This is a “I need to get off now!” toy.

The Rose Lipstick Vibe is 4 inches when fully extended with a 1 inch insertable length. It is made out of phthalate free, silky smooth, ABS plastic and takes a single AAA battery. There are 2 different colors if you want to be as accurate as possible. There is this one, which is a dusty pink color, and there is a bright red.

Unfortunately, there are not too many positives about this toy. The smooth plastic is nice, but it’s pretty lackluster. It’s hard and it vibrates, that’s pretty much the extent of it. It looks super realistic, so if you’re worried about discretion while traveling or if you know someone will be snooping inside your bags, this is definitely a product to consider. The vibe speed and strength is super powerful, so it’s great for a solo quickie.

This toy is that it’s not quiet at all. The fact that it is built to be super discreet looking makes me a little upset that this toy cannot be used in any public setting. Yeah, you can bring it to work without anyone knowing it’s a vibrator, but the second you head into that bathroom stall and turn it on, there’s no questioning what you’re up to. When I used it I had a fan on high (because summer), and I could still hear this thing over it.

This vibe is also not waterproof which is a little bit tricky when you’re trying to figure out how to clean it. This thing is barely even splash proof. I have a huge thing with germs (as should anyone in the sex community), so not being able to wash this whole toy bothers me. Also, the lipstick vibe part sits in the center of a plastic tube, but not securely, so anything that wants to get down in there, can. Yuck.

Being a BBW, this toy also let me down in that regard. Since the actual vibe/insertable portion is only an inch long, I had a hard time navigating past my labia without the plastic tubing pinching me in some way. It was not a very fun experience. To be able to use it finally, I had to sit up against the arm of my couch with one had spreading my bits just so I could use the other hand to get it down there. Not attractive and very uncomfortable.

I hate that this is my first real negative review. I really wanted to love this, I’m just not sure this toy was built with anything but strength and cuteness in mind. If you are looking for a toy that you can bring with you to use on trips or even work, this might be for you. Honestly, there are much better options in terms of discretion and power. If you’re desperate to get off and have some place private to do the deed (and aren’t a plus sized beauty), this will definitely be your best friend.


You can get this product right HERE 


I was sent the Rose Lipstick Vibe for free in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!

Categories
Adult Content Blog Posts Body Positive ETC Lifestyle Sexual Wellness Talk

About Last Night…

I have been married to an amazing person for almost 10 years. We are best friends, we tell each other everything, we’re open and honest, and we never let things fester. Lately, I had been having some pretty serious thoughts about our relationship. After a couple of weeks of mulling things over, I decided I had thought about it enough on my own and now it was time to sit down and discuss it.

I told him that I had been getting turned on by the idea of another person fucking me, him knowing, and getting turned on by that, or even joining in. I had learned a while ago that a lot of men actually have this fetish as well, so I was curious about his thoughts on all of it. I knew that we had discussed it being his fetish when we first got engaged, but I don’t remember much else around that time.

When we met, I was with an awful human being. This man was physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually abusive. When I met my husband, he quickly became my best friend, and eventually helped me escape that relationship.

After I had left my ex, I had a lot of healing to do, both from him and from past sexual traumas. Apparently, for me to heal, I needed to block out certain chunks of time from around the end of that relationship, to about 6 months into my new one. I had no idea that I had done this, until my husband mentioned that we had actually started practicing this lifestyle, and apparently I had a part time girlfriend. We would would fool around while he was at work, and then at one point, we had a threesome…all for me.

It was like one of those movie moments. The camera pans in really fast on my eyes as they widen from some amazing realization. I FINALLY REMEMBERED! Like most moments in your life when you remember a lot of stuff all at once, I got very emotional. I realized that my past traumas had prevented me from just BEING for a large chunk of my life and I was remembering all the things my brain had allowed me to forget. It was rough.

I was suddenly remembering all of the trauma my ex had put me through, specifically sexually, and I hated him so much more. I allowed this piece of shit to ruin my self image. He took away my ability to love myself and to feel like I deserved to be loved. He put me in so many situations that I hated myself for and forced a lifestyle onto me that I wasn’t ready for. He knew this, but never cared. One of the major non-physical traumas that happened during our relationship was, for a whole week he was fucking 2 other people and telling me that he was at the hospital with his grandfather. I only learned about that one after I had left him, hence the continued need for healing for a few months after that relationship had ended.

After speeding through all THAT lovely imagery, I got to my current relationship, and all the blocked out chunks of time within it. I remembered all of our conversations about loving each other, the fact that his sex drive isn’t what I need sometimes, and that lack of jealousy isn’t lack of love. Being so young and having gone through all that shit when we got together, I didn’t quite understand why he was so OK with this. I was confused and I thought that him ‘not caring’ about me sleeping with other people for a fetish we had, meant that he’d be out sleeping with people too, all the while telling me that ‘it’s for the fantasy’, and making me believe that I was the one who was wrong and/or crazy.

That was never the case, and in fact, we were extremely hot and heavy during all of this. The only reason why we stopped being part of that lifestyle, was that we moved. It seemed like our move away, forced me to start healing. We never mentioned it again and all of our experiences fell away.

Fast forward to 2018 when I got into my massive car accident and everything changed. Like I’ve mentioned before and in my ‘About’ bio, I suddenly began to love myself again. Having a near death experience can do that. After the accident, we had found our fire again. I was no longer self conscious of my body, so I was extremely free to explore my new found sexuality.

A few months later I began to explore the world of sex work. I LOVED it. After I stopped, I actually missed it, and I started to wonder why. I figured out the reason was because I was being adored and lusted after by other people. That lust and adoration was directly linked to my amazing ‘IRL’ sex life. After I stopped being a sex worker, our sex life slowed down again. It wasn’t as bad as before the accident, but it was definitely noticeable. Since I DID remember that in the past he had mentioned this fetish to me, I decided to take a stab at doing some of my own research. Turns out that’s exactly what I wanted as well.

When we finally sat down to talk, things were amazing. We talked about communication, boundaries, fantasies, and rules. I thought he would be totally against the idea of even discussing it, but after the realization that I probably should have gone to more therapy, things just clicked. I remembered that in my sexual history I had had a grand total of 3 threesomes, and I loved every minute of it. I remember being the center of attention for most of those events and at that point I couldn’t keep my hands off of him. We spent the next hour having amazing sex (since all that talk of other people fucking me was basically hardcore foreplay) and over the next few days we would talk some more.

Now that things are all out in the open, we’re giving it some time. We’ve gone back to having amazing sex, pretty much any time we can, and in a few months we’re going to re-discuss this lifestyle (and possibly give it a try). We’ve done solo research and partnered research all to identify the exact relationship style we’d like to have, so that there is no questioning the rules and boundaries we will be setting.

The reason why I decided to tell you this story is to show you just how important communication and honesty are within ANY type of relationship. Whether that be casual, non monogamous, open, poly, etc, you need to talk. I told him about my ideas, he told me about his worries, and so on. We understand that talking and not letting things get bottled up is the only way that we can successfully explore our options and have a healthy relationship.

[If you need/want to talk about your own experiences please do not hesitate to email me or DM me on social media]

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Blush Novelties – Luxe – Bling Plugs Training Kit – Black With White Gems

I was 100% going to post a different blog today, but I could not stop thinking about how amazing these are. I don’t know if it’s just the fact that I’ve never tried butt plugs before or what, but I am obsessed. Solo play was phenomenal, so I wanted to wait to write a full review until I had used them for both solo and partnered play. Fast forward a few hours later, I couldn’t wait any longer, and we had a LOT of fun. My partner had no idea what he was in for when fell for me. *evil smirk*

The first thing that I will say is that these are so fucking cute. These (and the ones with the tail) are the ones I was desperate to try, simply for the fun I have looking at them, and Blush Novelties was kind enough to send them to me, plus some other goodies. They had other colors, but just like a cheese pizza at a pizza shop, you have to try the basics before you get fancy. I’m also a sucker for anything black and silver!

This is a really great kit for beginners to anal play. I am not a beginner, but I am definitely not an expert by any means. The 3 sizes are perfect for training your body and figuring out what you enjoy (the most important part!). They are made of a super smooth satin silicone, with no phthalates, fragrance, paraffin, or latex. The flared, heart shaped, base makes them fit securely against your body so you can have the best possible experience. Use them with any water based lube for a grand ol’ time!

I felt like freaking Goldilocks trying these. The small one was too small, the large one was too large, and the medium one was JUST right. Having dabbled in anal play before, my bum was used to foreign objects. I had to make sure the size was big enough for me to actually feel, but not too big to irritate the sensitive area around the anus. I’ve had some issues in the past, and I didn’t quite feel like reliving those particular memories.

Putting the plug in by myself was surprisingly easy. I thought I would have a lot more hesitation, but that ended up not being the case. The small, rounded tip eased me into it (or it into me), and the gradual build up of size felt wonderful. There was a little bit of an issue with the heart shaped base though. When you’re not used to it, and something happens to where the plug rotates inside you, the pointy end of the heart is a very uncomfortable thing to have poking into you. Add to the fact that basically my entire butt was lubed up (you can never use too much lube for anal), I was slipping and sliding in a panic to try and alleviate the situation. Very unpleasant.

The small plug has an insertable length of 2.6 inches, a circumference of 3 inches, and a width of 1 inch.

The medium plug has an insertable length of 2.8 inches, a circumference of 3.25 inches, and a width of 1.4 inches.

The large plug has an insertable length of 3.2 inches, a circumference of 3.75 inches, and a width of 1.75 inches.

Now to the good part…

I need to write this now while I’m still in the afterglow of what just fucking happened. I have never had a butt plug before, like I said. I have tried anal with small, thin toys, and I’ve done anal with my partners penis, but never have I had a toy that was specifically made for anal pleasure. And pleasure these do.

I just had the most intense edging session of my life with the medium plug and my Power Touch. The pressure, the fullness, it drove me wild. By the time I came I was panting hard, my whole body was sweaty, and afterwards, I couldn’t move for a solid 60 seconds. That never happens from just the run of the mill masturbation. I am still in shock.

The second time around was with my partner. Being the second use of the medium plug in a day, admittedly I was a bit sore, but nothing could stop me at this point. I lubed it up and stuck it in. During penetration, it felt BETTER! I couldn’t believe it, and neither could he. After we were done, he was just as shocked as I was. According to him, the plug was pressing against the top of his penis (we were fucking doggy style), and making him hit places inside me that he didn’t know existed.

Don’t roll your eyes too much. Before a year ago, we were a very vanilla couple. Leave it up to a near death experience to bring out your inner sex freak.

And now if you’ll excuse me, I need to rest my bum for a couple days…


You can get this beautiful product right HERE and HERE. Both shops are so amazing. Check them out!


I was sent the Luxe Bling Plugs Training Kit for free in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!

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Mimic + Plus by Clandestine Devices

The Mimic + Plus is a stunning toy. When you take off the lid of the box this thing sings (not literally, but you know, choir of angels and all that shit). The bright magenta toy was snuggled into its perfectly formed cradle covered in a protective plastic shield with a sticker that says ‘hygiene sealed’. It all makes my sex blogger heart flutter. Inside the little bottom area was the satin storage bag, the magnetic USB charge cable, and the super detailed instructions.

This thing is made of body safe silicone, is 100% waterproof, AND it has a travel lock so it doesn’t start vibrating in your bag, which is freaking amazing. There are 8 vibration patterns and 6 levels of intensity that range from a small flutter to sitting on a race car, while it’s driving. The bottom of the toy has a bright LED that dims when things get dark and dirty.

I love that it gives you a vibration guide. A lot, if not most, of the other toys I’ve seen with variable vibration patterns just sort of make you wing it (pun intended). It’s sort of nice to know what all of the patterns will do. You still need to play around with all of them to see which one you love the most, of course, but isn’t that the fun part??

Charging is…interesting. I have never had a toy that used a magnetic port before this one. The magnet on it seems a little weak. When I would connect the charger it kept falling off if I moved it ever so slightly. In the end I had to put the toy down, magnet side up, plug it in, and then not touch it at all until it was done charging. The magnetic charging toys I’ve had since never seemed to have a problem with magnet strength, so maybe the one I got was a little off.

I’m going to preface my actual experience breakdown with, I was not in a good place, mentally, the week that I tried this toy. I had been masturbating furiously, solo and with my partner, for almost 5 days, with no orgasm. We tried so many different things, from using all the toys in my toy box, to vanilla fingering, to oral, nothing was working. So by the time I actually had an orgasm with this toy, it was disappointing. Not because of the toy, but because the orgasm I did end up having was like a little bottle rocket, compared to the grand finale I usually have.

The first time I used it, it was like running a marathon. It took me over an hour, and three different positions, to find the right spot to get me to the finish line. I used it the way the toy seemed like it was meant to be used: cradled in my hand, wings facing up (when it was in position), with the smooth, rounded bump pressed against me. In this position, it had the thing I hate most about sex toys (at least for solo masturbation), precision. I am a wild masturbator. Precision does nothing for me, honestly. It’s amazing when I’m nearing my orgasm, as I tend to get a bit more focused on keeping whatever is making my toes curl, right where it is.

The next time I tried it, I flipped it over…nothing. The best way to describe what the toy looks like flipped over is it sort of looks like a bird with a really tiny beak, wings and everything. The precision on this side was even more accurate and I just ended up getting really frustrated. Also, with the wings pointed down, against my body, I couldn’t get enough pressure because the wings weren’t as flexible as I would have liked.

With a partner the Mimic + Plus is WONDERFUL! We never used it for partnered masturbation, but we did use is as a clit/vulva simulator during penetration. Having it wedged between our bodies was such an amazing feeling made everything feel amazing. Still, no luck in the big O department though. Using it like this actually made my partner last longer because the vibrations slightly numbed his penis and made everything a little less sensitive, so that was a bonus. The Mimic + Plus was definitely made for partnered use. I can see this being amazing as a grinder for 2 vulva having partners.

In the end, being in a not-so-great mental state, made the Mimic + Plus fun, but not entirely satisfying. The design and shape of the toy was not nearly as body inclusive as I would have liked, and the type of vibration that it gave off never quite worked for my solo experience. For partnered play, it was great.

I would recommend buying this toy for 2 reasons: (a) it’s stunning and crafted beautifully, and (b) partnered play was made so much better with it. If you are looking for that extra spark in the bedroom (or wherever you enjoy doing the nasty), this little thing is the answer.


You can get this beautiful product right HERE plus, get 10% off when you use the code PSL10!!

Get the Mimic + HERE too! Plus you’ll receive $10 off your first order AND free shipping on orders over $55 when you use the code PINKSPACELIME!


I was sent the Mimic + Plus for free in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!