What is this magic?! I can’t even begin to express to you the amount of shock that swept over my face the moment I climaxed from this toy. It happened (for me) in a flash. I went from ‘hmm…?’ to ‘hnng!’ in less than 5 minutes!! For those of you who have read my past posts on my orgasm, you know that is almost unheard of for me! I’m not sure if it was the toy, or the fact that I started taking CBD, but I am still shook!
The Noje is made of satin smooth ABS plastic with 2 platinum cured silicone attachments, one shaped like a bunny (creepy face and all) and one that looks like a weird alien tongue. It is USB rechargeable with a magnet and is waterproof for ‘bath time fun’. The vibrations are made in an oscillating motion to deliver precise stimulation. Using the super simple buttons, there are 7 different levels to choose from. There are no patterns with this one, but that’s not a feature I really care about (usually!).
The plain head, sans attachments, is the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. I honestly thought it would be overwhelming and/or painful but that wasn’t the case at ALL. The oscillating motions make the tip dance ever so lightly over my clit and the feather light vibrations gave me chills. Usually I need some amount of pressure on my clit to get those deep, rumbly vibrations, but I didn’t need that at all with the Quiver.
The bunny attachment is good for nipple stimulation and foreplay with a partner, or alone. I wasn’t able to get good clitoral stimulation from it, unfortunately. The silicone in the ears of the rabbit head don’t transfer the oscillating vibrations as well and I would have needed the deep, rumbly pressure to make this piece work. Either way, it was definitely fun to play with!
The ‘Tapper’ attachment is used for a lighter sensation. For me it was great as a clit stroker. Like the bunny attachment, the oscillating motions were harder to feel, but with the textured bumps and nubs, I was able to have a lot of fun with it.
The only negatives that I came across are that it ceases to vibrate when you put even a little bit too much pressure on the oscillating tip, and it’s a tad bit loud as certain points. I noticed it gets louder the lower the vibration speed but placing the tip against your body with the right amount of pressure gets rid of the sound.
Even if you hate pinpoint vibration and think that this toy will literally be the worst for you, please try it. That was exactly where I was when I received it. I had no idea how much pleasure the Quiver would bring me, but now it is in the ranks of my favorite toys. I love it so much.
You can get this product right HERE and just search for ‘Quiver’. Use PINKSPACELIME to receive $10 off your first order and free shipping on orders over $75!
I was sent the Blush Noje Quiver for free by MedAmour in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!
I have said this so many times, especially when it comes to sex and kink, there is no such thing as normal. Normal is whatever you want it to be. If you’re married with 3 kids, ‘normal’ might be once a month. If you’re newly dating someone you find insanely attractive, ‘normal’ might be once per day. That isn’t including SO many other factors that come into play. The most important thing is any relationship is communication. Only you can know what you need and what works for you.
Because this is such a common question, I really wanted to get other peoples opinions and advice on it. I reached out to Korppi King and Kaja Echo to help me put into words what a ‘normal’ sex life might look like. Read what these awesome humans have to say about it below!
This is not an easy question to answer, because there really isn’t a right answer. How much sex is normal to someone depends entirely upon the person, their partners, and even elements of their environment and upbringing. Despite the repetition of sexual standards in magazines, movies, and sitcoms, sex isn’t a one-size-fits-all thing. Sure, books and magazines will tell you that a married couple should be having sex at least three times a week, and you’ll hear people say that you should have at least three orgasms a day, but, in reality, it’s difficult to say how much is too little, just enough or too much without taking individuality into account. Sex and how often you have it is a question of complex, personal, and dynamic rhythms and desires that you can’t really quantify with an easy answer.
Sexual appetite varies from person to person, as does our need for sex within a relationship (if, in fact, that’s how you’re choosing to have sex). Some people need sex. Some people don’t. Some people don’t like sex physically, but may feel attraction to other people. Some people don’t feel sexual attraction or desire, but may or may not enjoy the physical sensations associated with sex. And taking our masturbation habits and our nuanced definitions of the word “sex” into consideration only muddies the situation further. Do we count masturbation in our measurement of our appetite for sex? Or do we count only the acts we perform with other people? In that case, where do we draw the line—mutual masturbation, hand jobs, cunnilingus, or just penetrative sex? No matter how we define and measure sex, the answer will still be different for everyone. Just look at the sexual appetites in my own house, for example. I usually want or need to have sex every other day if not once a day. Sometimes more often. Of my two partners, one needs to have sex about five times a week and the other (typically) wants or needs it much less often. None of us is right or wrong. There’s not really a baseline from which any of us deviates. We’re all just different from each other in how much sex we want.
Environmental, emotional, physical and mental changes can also impact our sex lives. Whether it’s a change in our diet or daily routine or a psychological event or change, our sexual appetites respond to fluctuations in and around us. Some people, for example, respond to depression and anxiety by shutting down their sexual systems. Some people have the completely opposite reaction. Even if we don’t realize it, our health, self image, energy level and mindset plays a big part in how aroused and arousing we feel. And so do changes in around relationships or in our routines with each other. I can’t tell you how much my libido spiked when one of my partners and I took ballroom dance classed together—nor can I try to explain how little sexual energy I felt when the same partner and I went to a tantric sex workshop just a month later. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense—and maybe it’s a change we don’t even notice—but it impacts our sex life and temporarily changes our definition of normal.
Simply put, there is no normal. Not for everyone. Instead of asking yourself how much sex is normal, try asking “How much sex is healthy and comfortable for me?” Ask yourself first if your needs are met and if you are comfortable and satisfied without the amount of sex you’re having. If the answer to those questions is yes, ask yourself if the amount of sex you have is hurting you, hurting someone else, or hampering your ability to function in the rest of your life at or above your functionality baseline. If the answer is no, it could be worth taking some time to reevaluate your sex attitudes and routines.
Most of us have deeply ingrained, socially reinforced ideas about how much and what kind of sex we should be having. Media of all kinds is constantly showing us imagery of happy couples boning for hours every single day of the week. We’re also told that if you want sex *too* much, there must be something wrong with you. It’s hard to navigate these images without the feeling that you’re coming up short in some way.
So what’s the “right” amount of sex to have? What is normal? If you do a Google search using the question posed, you’ll find millions of results and article after article about sexual desire and communication. Everyone has a different opinion and many of these opinions change from year to year.
The level of sexual desire one has will always vary! There is no “normal.” Strike that word from your vocabulary now. Whatever you enjoy safely and consensually is a-okay!
If you feel that you’re not having enough sex, take an inventory of how you’re feeling overall. Have you been sick recently or do you have a chronic illness or disability that makes having sex less than optimal for you at times? Are you stressed about things going on at work or at home? Maybe you’re just plain tired and not getting enough sleep. If you have a partner(s), how’s your relationship going? Are you feeling disconnected in any way? It might be a good time to do an emotional check-in with your partner about how you’re both feeling if you haven’t been getting it on recently. They might also be experiencing a low sex drive or their own stresses or aches. Communicate your needs and see if that helps you get back on track.
If you feel that you’re having *too* much sex, well… you probably aren’t unless it’s distressing to you, you’re finding it difficult to accomplish other, non-sexual things, or it’s physically hurting you and/or your partner(s). If everything’s cool on those fronts, I say keep on having fun and don’t worry that you’re abnormal. You’re not. You just like a lot of sex!
I recommend some time and energy devoted to determining what amount of sex feels right to you. Do some journaling; make some notes about your own desire. How much sex feels healthy? Are there times when your drive is overwhelming? Are you worried about your lack of libido? What might stand in the way?
It’s also really important to ask these questions of yourself before communicating with your partner(s) about what you need and want. But I do highly recommend discussing these issues with your partner and checking in about what works for them.
All in all, dear reader, I hope you know that ideas of what’s “normal” shift over time and are based on social mores of whatever time we’re living in. The frequency with which most adults have sex now would probably be unheard of a hundred years ago. And a hundred years from now, it will be different again. As long as you’re staying safe and healthy and consensual, have as much or as little sex as you’d like. It’s ALL good!
*Unfortunately, after finishing this piece I found out that Korppi King is no longer on social media. If she ever decides to recreate her social media profiles, I will update this post with her new information!
This is an odd little thing. I have said before (I think) that I am not a huge fan of g-spot toys, but every once in a while I am surprised. This is not one of those times. I used this toy only once and I knew immediately that I will never use it again.
The Play:Curve is made of a silky silicone with a really lovely metallic insert and an adorable little, leaf shaped, tail. A few other basics are that it is USB rechargeable, water proof, and has a decent battery life. After that, things get a little confusing. The website states that there are 25 different vibration settings, when there are only 12, which is described in the instruction booklet. Also, I’m still not even 5% sure how (if at all) I can charge the remote. Plus, the instructions say that you hold the power button for 3 seconds to turn it on, that is also not entirely true. You do have to hold the button for 3 seconds, but then you have to click it one more time to start the vibrations.
As for the actual vibrations, I was really disappointed. Not only do I have a hard time with g-spot toys, but I also have a HUGE problem with buzzy toys. This was both, so that’s really not good. It went in easy enough and the remote actually works when the Curve is inside me, but I couldn’t feel shit. I mean, I could feel something, and depending on the pattern or position I was in, I could definitely feel more, but still, a real let down. At some points, the buzz of the vibration completely disappeared.
In the end, this is really not the toy for me. The vibrations were awful and the instructions were really not useful in any stage of the test run. The most positive aspects of this toy are the color, the really lovely shape, and the price.
If you want to try this for yourself, you can get this product right HERE
I was sent the Bed Geek Play:Curve for free in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!
The Bed Geek Play:Three is their newest wand evolution after the Play:One and, obviously, the Play:Two. It features a diamond shape pattern on the handle and a smaller, more powerful, head. There are so many options to play with on this thing. You’ll never get bored!
The Play:Three is made of medical grade silicone and is super soft to hold. The toy is rechargeable and it comes with a USB charging cable. Being waterproof and splash proof, the charging port is on the bottom of the toy, through a silicone flap. It’ll begin blinking to let you know that it’s charging. It features 20 vibration patterns and 8 vibration intensities which are controlled by the 2 buttons above the power button.
This wand had a super small head. It makes it really easy to maneuver and fit into tighter vulva spaces. The head isn’t too flexible which, for me, is a huge bonus. I was easily able to put pressure on all the right areas. Also, once I found a spot that I loved, the small head made it easy to keep it there, which, honestly, has been an issue with a few other toys.
A thing that I really loved about this toy was the fact that even when the toy was on high, you could barely feel the vibrations in the handle. I know in a lot of other toys, the place where you put your hand to hold it vibrates so much that your hand or fingers end up going numb. That isn’t an issue at all with this. It must have something to do with the diamond shaped pattern in the silicone.
This wand has a SUPER buzzy motor. Even on the lowest setting it was just an intense buzz. When you turn it on, it starts at the highest setting, so it’s a bit startling at first. I am much more of a rumble vibe lover, so I was not a huge fan, but it definitely works if you need to get off in a pinch.
Unfortunately, because of the powerful buzzy motor, this toy is VERY loud. It’s not as loud as other wands, but pretty loud none the less. It’s not subtle at all. It sounds like a high powered electric toothbrush. Honestly, I would rather feel the vibrations in the handle of a toy than one that’s this loud.
Are there other mini wands that do it better? Sure, but for $29.99 this is a good option for a beginner wand vibe. It really depends on the kind of vibrations you like. The buzziness is way too intense for me and the noise makes it hard to be discreet, but overall, the size and aesthetic design are great!
I will admit, when I saw this for the first time, I was skeptical. I had no idea how I would use it or how it would feel, but those thoughts vanished within a few minutes of using this toy. It is one of the most unique products I have ever used. The roller end was such a wonderful surprise and the other, vibrating g-spot wand, was perfection.
The Reece and Rose Massage Roller is made out of body safe silicone and ABS plastic. This multi-functional toy is waterproof for use in the shower. It uses a USB charging cable with a insertable connector. It takes approximately 2 hours to be fully charged from dead and runs for about an hour and half depending on levels. The whole thing is about 9 inches long. The roller end is 3 inches wide and the insertable end is 1.5 inches wide, with an insertable length of approximately 4.5 inches.
The really unexpected part is that both ends run independently. One button on one side controls the vibrations in the roller and the button on the other side controls the vibrations in the insertable wand end. That’s what makes this toy so multi-functional. You can use it as a vibrating dildo, a clitoral vibe, an actual body massager, etc. The personal and couple uses are almost endless.
The insertable, vibrating wand end is gorgeous. It’s smooth and it curves just right. The area that the vibrations come from are almost perfectly lined up with most g-spots, so you’ll get the most out of it. The tip is also a softer, squishier silicone, which means that using it as a rumbly clitoral vibe isn’t out of the question.
The rolling end is where things get…interesting, and this is the only place where I have some issues. For some reason, I thought that the roller would be motorized, but it is not. There are the vibrations, but the rolling part itself needs to be manually rolled. This gets a little tricky when trying to use the rolling part as a clitoral massager because once the roller is settled on the clit, it pretty much just rocks in place with not much moving stimulation.
Fortunately, the issues are also the positives. The fact that the roller just rocks and vibrates doesn’t suck at all. The sensation is similar to a session of heavy petting. Not a lot of wiggly diddling going on. The roller sit firmly in between the outer labia while the massaging bumps spread the vibrations over the clitoris and the entire upper portion of the vulva.
I cannot praise this toy enough. The Reece and Rose Massage Roller gives you 2 clitoral type massagers, a body massager, AND an insertable g-spot wand. It’s one of the best, body safe, rechargeable, all-in-ones I’ve ever tried. I am seriously in love with this brand. If you haven’t read my previous reviews on the Reece and Rose products you can read them here and here!
You can get this product right HERE and use the code PNKSPCLM20 to get 20% off your order!
I was sent the Reece and Rose Massage Roller for free in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!
This has got to be the most frustrating toy I have ever experienced. It is beautiful and super creative, but it just fell flat. I tried this toy 4 times with no big finish. It left me feeling frustrated and, unfortunately, a little in pain.
The Vibease Esthesia is waterproof and there are 2 motors: one in the g-spot wand and the other in the clitoral piece. The toy is Bluetooth enabled as well, so you can connect to your phone with ease. There are 5 total vibration settings in the toy, but the choices are pretty much unlimited in the app. It is USB rechargeable and has a battery life of up to 3 hours.
Ok, so the design of this thing is amazing. It looks like something out of Alice in Wonderland. The pink silicone is a beautiful shade of pink, the curves are so smooth, and the buttons are little hearts with whimsical curls etched around them. It’s like my dream toy, aesthetically. It curves just right, there are no harsh edges, and it looks like the bumps would potentially hit you in all the right spots. This did not turn out to be true.
It’s not really flexible. The g-spot wand sort of is, but the clitoris tip is hard as a rock. Not only did that actually hurt when I used is, but the fact that it’s ‘molded’ made it so the clitoral tip never actually hit my clit. It was about a half inch too low. I’m not sure what body type they used as a model, but this is definitely not an ‘all bodies welcome’ situation. Also, because of the firm clitoral piece, I couldn’t even insert the toy all of the way in without having to physically bend the piece back, and even then, the space between the 2 pieces smooshed my urethra. Ouch!
Now, on to the most unfortunate part of this toy, the vibrations. The vibrations on the Esthesia are disappointing to say the least. Like I mentioned before, the battery life on this toy is up to 3 hours, and that seems to be because the vibrations are shit. There is one lower speed, one medium speed, and one highest speed. The highest speed on this toy is comparable to the mid/low setting on a different toy. No wonder it lasts 3 hours, it’ll take you that long to get off.
The app, however, was pretty amazing. Not only did it connect to the toy super easy, but the different features were pretty awesome. You can fine tune the vibrations to an almost infinite number of options and it wasn’t too hard to figure out the basics. I didn’t buy any of the audio books, but I used the free ones available. There are 2 in particular that I use almost daily now just as regular masturbatory aid with other toys.
The website says that you can use it with music, but I could not for the life of me figure out how, or find any information on it other than the single sentence in the main sites description. That was a bit frustrating because that was the number 1 reason why I chose this toy over the original Vibease (which I am still dying to try). I even mentioned this when contacting Vibease, but nobody told me otherwise.
In the end, I was really disappointed with this toy. I can’t be expected to like everything I try, but I had heard so many great reviews about this thing that I had gotten my hopes up. The lack of flexibility and the harshness of the clitoral piece left a lot to be desired (and I’m not just talking about my lack of orgasms). However, if you are not used to sex toys, I might actually recommend this for you. The vibrations weren’t super great for a connoisseur like myself, but for someone who is new to vibrators, the lack of harsh vibrations might be just what you’re looking for.
Thank you to Vibease for sending me the Esthesia in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!
The Reece and Rose Liquid Silicone Vibe will forever be known as the vibe that gave me 2 consecutive orgasms after a 10 day, 4 sexual encounters, and 3 masturbation sessions, dry spell. Now, I won’t go into details, but I cannot express enough how amazing this toy was for me. The vibrations are perfect, it’s not so big that you can’t wiggle it around a little bit, and it lasts a long time.
The vibe is made of a super soft, flexible silicone, that allows it to bend with your body. It is USB rechargeable and completely waterproof. The battery life is actually really great as well. It only takes about an hour to charge but lasts at least an hour. There are 3 vibration speeds and 10 vibration patterns. A huge plus is that it’s not insanely complicated to figure out. There’s one button to power it and the other cycles through the speeds and patterns.
The way that it’s shaped its also really nice. It’s not too curved like most g-spot toys. It has a very gradual curve. Plus, both sides are weighted fairly evenly so there’s not a super heavy side. The end that goes inside your body with the motor is also perfectly shaped. There aren’t any weird bumps or ridges that rub against the g-spot which, for me, can get really uncomfortable. There are little, tiny waves on the back to stimulate the other side of the vaginal wall. It’s so GREAT!
It it the first g-spot vibe that has actually done it for me. I had always thought and heard that firm toys against the g-spot are what does it. Not for me. When a toy is too firm, it ends up bumping against my urethra and starts to get it irritated. Because this one is super flexible, I can just thrust and it follows my curves naturally.
Another thing I loved is that it passed the ‘clench’ test. I am a hardcore clencher and I’ve been having a hard time finding a g-spot toy that doesn’t just immediately stop upon my extreme clenching. This toy keeps on buzzing away. The fact that I could clench my way to an orgasm made this one of my favorite g-spot toys.
ANOTHER thing I love about this toy is that since the motor and the shape pair up so nicely, you can 100% use this as a clitoral stimulation toy. If, at some point, you don’t feel like having your g-spot stimulated, turn this beauty on and go to town on your clit. It’s not so flexible that you can’t get any pressure against it and the silicone is thin enough that you can actually get a lovely rumble out of it.
The ONLY negative, as with most silicone toys, is when you have quite a bit of lubrication it gets tricky to keep a hold of. Because the silicone is so smooth and satiny, any added moisture to the handle turns it into one of those old water wiggler toys. It made it a little difficult to keep a rhythm by myself.
Other than that, I would HIGHLY recommend purchasing this toy for your collection. It’s so simple and easy to use. It has so many functions and, above all, its PRETTY. The teal color that Reece and Rose has picked for their first collection is beautiful. I am, however, hoping for more of a pastel color spectrum in the long run (hint hint).
The Le Wand was sent to me by MedAmour to try and review. I am so glad they did! I had never had a ‘real’ wand before receiving it, so to be able to try this magnificent creature was such a gift. At first glance my overall impression of this thing was ‘YIKES’. That remained my opinion until my second use. This thing is a monster. It’s big and bulky, but a beautiful take on the classic ‘Magic Wand’.
The Le Wand has 10 speeds and 20 patterns! That is a whole lot of usage from one toy. This thing has a flexible, silicone head which moves with your body. It is cordless, rechargeable with use in about 3 hours, and splash proof, which means you can wash it thoroughly, but don’t use it in the bathtub. Also, even though this beast is so huge, it’s surprisingly travel friendly. It has a lock and everything. Maybe don’t bring it in a carry on, but definitely pack it in your main suitcase.
Like I said, I said ‘Yikes’ the first time I saw this, turned it on, and used it. The first time I played with it I was so intimidated. It’s very heavy, it’s huge, and it’s REALLY loud. This thing sounds like a lawn mower or an electric scooter. There’s a reason why I call it ‘monster’ and ‘beast’. The head is 2.45 inches, the whole thing is over 13 inches long, and it weighs approximately 3.1 LBS. Not a gentle creature.
Besides the size, weight, and loudness, there aren’t that many negatives about the Le Wand. It’s like the BDSM of vibrators. It hurts so good. Since it’s heavy, it is somewhat painful to hold for extended periods of time. Plus, since the motor is so powerful, not only can it numb your clit in a matter of seconds, but it can also be ripped out of your hands due to the force of the vibrations.
Another pretty major negative, for me, was the size of the silicone head. The thing has a diameter of 2.45 inches. That’s a lot of stuff to squeeze between my larger lips. It would be great if I could be one of those people who could just sit on the thing and let it work, but alas, I am not. With it’s size, I had to spread and smoosh to get it to vibrate anything other than my fat lady bits.
The second time I used it, and after realizing that there are things like the Liberator Wanda to hold it for me, I actually had a grand old time. I found that the buzziness of the wand wasn’t nearly as intense on my clit when I used a good amount of lube. Yes, as per usual, it took me about 30 minutes to finally get off, but hey, the fact that I got off at all was an accomplishment. I honestly thought this would be too much for me, but it turned out great!
Another thing is that it is AMAZING as a body massager. It’s WONDERFUL. I have a lot of tension in my back and shoulders from being an artist, so this thing comes out all the time to work out my knots. I get why this was the popular vibrator of choice back in the day. It’s so multi functional!
As much as I have come to love this wand, I would love to try it’s baby sibling, the Le Wand Petite. I feel like overall, it would be a better toy for me and my every day life. The Le Wand though, is an immediate classic. It’s beautiful, sleek, and powerful. Definitely not for masturbatory beginners, but I would go so far as to say that it’s a must have in any bedroom for all it’s various other uses.
You can get this product right HERE and just search for ‘Le Wand’. Use PINKSPACELIME to receive $10 off your first order and free shipping on orders over $75!
I was sent the Le Wand Original for free by MedAmour in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!
Question: How can I introduce toys into the bedroom?
Introducing toys in the bedroom can be a daunting experience, but it doesn’t have to be! Sex toys are fun, sexy, and the perfect way to try new things. Communication and honesty are key when trying anything new with a partner. There is no reason to fear a sex toy. Just make sure both parties are comfortable (and the toys in question are body safe!!).
Read what other sexperts have to say below!!
Toys can be such a fun way to enhance your sexual experience, solo or with a partner. If your partner is a little hesitant to try them, I recommend starting with a little bit of research – online and offline!
One way to gauge your partner’s interest in a particular toy is to periodically show them photos of toys that interest you. You can say, “This looks cool! Would you ever try something like this?” Or you can tell them specifically what you like about a toy: “I love the shape of this dildo” or “The silicone looks like it would feel so nice!” Sometimes I bookmark articles about toys I’d like to try and when our online conversation gets a little naughty, I’ll send him a link to a toy review and let him know how I’d like to use it on him or myself. Putting it in context allows your partner’s imagination to run wild.
A fun, flirty, and dirty date can be a shopping trip to find a toy to use together! I’ve found that trips to my local shop are educational in two ways. Browsing together inspires conversation and provides you with a safe, sex-positive space to explore. Many shops have a playful vibe and laughter can often inspire connection and help you drop your guard. You can also get help from the shop’s salesperson and learn about how to use a harness or perhaps what impact toys are best for beginning use. Have the salesperson show you how a vibrator works or which lubes they like. It’s all inspiration for when you get home…
Introducing something new into the bedroom can be a bit scary for some of us. Asking for what we desire makes us vulnerable. But as long as you and your partner are willing to communicate and negotiate, introducing toys into the bedroom can be a light-hearted, hot as fuck way to connect.
I get this question A LOT in my DMs. Everyone has their own backgrounds and experiences that shape their perspectives on sexuality and sexual expression. Some people are comfortable with the idea of exploring sex toys, and others are not. (It’s totally fine either way!) That said, if you are someone who is wanting to use sex toys with a partner, there are a few tips I have that can assist you in those conversations.
The #1 thing that I am going to recommend is just talking to your partner. This seems like an obvious one, but sometimes when people get nervous they forget the basics. Tell your partner about your fantasies involving toys. It isn’t always super easy discussing your desires and sexual wants, but it is important. Your needs matter. Your feelings matter. Your pleasure matters. Letting your partner know that you care about their feelings, but also letting them know where your head is at is super healthy and wonderful.
One of the next things I typically recommend for incorporating toys (after discussing it with your partner) is mutual masturbation. We’ve all heard of doing a sexy striptease, but have you heard of mutual masturbation? Think of it as your own private cam show. Often times, sex is rushed and the goal is to get to an orgasm suuuper fast. We don’t allow ourselves to connect in with our partners and see what their body is doing while they orgasm. Masturbating together gives you that opportunity. I can’t think of a single person who after seeing their partner getting themselves off thinks “wow. I feel like I am going to be replaced by their hands..” No. The thought is “Woah. That was hot. How can I recreate that? How can I give my partner that kind of pleasure?!”. (The answer is sex toys.)
From both professional and personal experience, I feel that often times the discomfort with the idea of sex toys comes from a place of fear. There is a common misconception that sex toys will “replace” a partner. For anyone who may be feeling this way, I have good news for you: In all the years I have been selling sex toys, I have never heard of anyone being replaced by a toy. In my personal opinion, if a relationship were to be ended by someone using a sex toy, the couple probably had some other deeper issues going on that they may not have been addressing. Either way, communication is key. Go have fun! Try something new! Access. That. Pleasure. Reach new heights and have some orgasms together 🙂
I’ve been waiting for this toy forever! It was actually one of the first toys I was sent, but because of a mix up in my apartments office, I didn’t get it until last week! Ugh! Before I knew I was getting this toy, I had never had a butt plug, but because of the mix up I ended up trying others first which sucks. I would have loved this plug to be my first.
The Tantus Perfect Plug is amazing for beginners! It’s made out of an ultra premium, body safe silicone and it’s only a single finger width wide (.75 in at widest point), so if you’re new to the world of butt plugs, this little thing should be ‘perfect’. Also, the base is slim instead of round, so it fits beautifully between your cheeks. That was a major upset for me when I tried my first plugs. They were heart shaped and hard, so I had a really tough time getting used to them.
This plug is also wonderfully long compared to other butt plugs. With an insertable length of 3.5 inches, I was easily able to insert it without any weird contortion like I had to do with my first set. The fact that I have a bit of anal training already made this thing super fun. It went in effortlessly and the bumps were super nice.
Wearing it around was so exhilarating. Whenever my hips would sway a little too much and my butt would jiggle, that’s when I could feel it the best. The slim base was so comfortable and sometimes I forgot I was wearing it….until I tried to sit down. That was an adventure. I’m still not used to wearing plugs anywhere besides the bedroom, so doing menial tasks around the house was interesting.
During penetration it was also pretty fun. My partner said that it definitely felt different but that it didn’t make my vagina nearly as tight as the other, more bulbous ones. For me, it felt best lying on my back versus doggy style since it was pinned between the bed and my partners penis with each thrust.
Overall, an amazing starter toy. It is the perfect width and length for beginners. Use with your favorite water based lube and you’re good to go!