Categories
Blog Posts Product Review Sex Toys

Bestvibe Yuanse Inflatable Expansion Vibrator

The Bestvibe Inflatable Vibrator is a very unique toy. I actually had quite a bit of trouble figuring it out, but after some experimenting, I got it working. I had never had any experience with inflatable toys, so being able to try one that looks like a swan made it so much fun!

The Inflatable Vibrator is made of body safe silicone and the small details are made of ABS plastic. It is rechargeable via USB plug and a full charge takes up to 2 hours. With that charge you can get up to 90 minutes depending on modes. The whole toy is waterproof (but not submersible) so you can enjoy it in the shower and you can wash it thoroughly. Plus there are 7 vibrations modes with variable expansion settings so it will always be a fun experience.

When I first tried this toy I used it for my g-spot. While the vibrations were nice, the inflatable end didn’t really do much for me. The large base is really awkward to hold inside myself and the shape of the toy doesn’t really allow for adequate movement. I also tried the toy anally and that worked so much better. The inflation felt VERY nice and holding onto the base in this position was much easier.

Overall, this is a take it or leave it type of toy. There’s nothing really mind blowing about it vaginally, but anally it’s pretty wonderful. The quality isn’t the best, as the vibrating bead at the head tends to slip a bit during inflation, but for the price, it’s decent. Like I said before, this is definitely an interesting and unique toy, so, if anything, it’ll be a cool piece to have in your collection.


I was sent the Yuanse Inflatable Expansion Vibrator for free by Bestvibe in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!

Categories
Affiliate Blog Posts Coupon Code Discount Goodies Product Review Sex Positive Sex Toys

We-Vibe Tango

The We-Vibe Tango is a toy that I have wanted to try for a long time. I was in the group of people who got their start with sex toys by buying cheap bullet vibes and ever since I have gotten into the sex industry, I have been trying to find a toy that recreates the enjoyment I got out of those. This is it. It has the power of the classic corded bullets with the upgraded technology of We-Vibe.

The Tango is made from body safe ABS plastic and is rechargeable via magnetic USB (with its own charging cap!). Each charge takes approximately 90 minutes and you get a whole 120 minutes on a single charge. Plus, it’s completely waterproof so you can enjoy all 8 vibration modes in any situation.

Out of all the ‘discreet’ type toys that I have tried, this one has quickly become my favorite. It’s super quiet and the design of it makes it super easy to use. The flat side is amazing for holding in place, flat against your body and the finer point makes it feel great for precision stimulation.

Unfortunately, with most small toys, my biggest complaint is, in fact, the size. Plus the fact that it gets a little bit slippery to hold once the juices start flowing makes it slightly frustrating. A design suggestion I might make for this higher end toy would be to have a better grip and maybe make a slightly larger version of it.

I HIGHLY recommend this toy overall. It’s absolutely perfect for a small nightstand toy. It’s so powerful but also very quiet. I definitely will recommend this to anyone who is looking for a small, rechargeable toy that is body safe and higher quality.


You can get this product right HERE and just search for ‘Tango’. Use PINKSPACELIME to receive $10 off your first order and free shipping on orders over $75!


I was sent the We-Vibe Tango for free by MedAmour in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!

Categories
Blog Posts Lifestyle Product Review Sex

No More Wet Spot – 50″ x 60″ Reversible, Waterproof Blanket

I am absolutely in love with the No More Wet Spot waterproof blanket. As most of you know, I am a squirter. I was sick and tired of having to mop up my mattress with towels and having to wash my sheets multiple times a week. The NMWS blanket has changed everything!

The No More Wet Spot blanket is made is 100% polyester. This makes it a very soft, washable fleece type blanket. The reason why it is waterproof is the finishing. While there are technically 3 layers, they are all fused together to make one thick, waterproof fabric (see below for a semi NSFW photo of the blanket in use!). To wash it, all you have to do is toss it in the washer and dry it on low, or hang dry it, like I did.

Since I am a projectile squirter, I decided to get to the largest version of this blanket. It’s a perfect size to fit over the entirety of my queen bed. This makes it the perfect addition to any play because you just toss it on the bed and not have to worry about placement. Your whole bed is covered!

I was actually a bit worried about this thing since I have heard about other companies who make waterproof blankets making theirs super rough, hard, or even tarp-like. I definitely didn’t want that. Must to my surprise, this was nothing like that. The NMWS blanket is SOOO soft. Also, because of the ‘waterproof-ness’, it’s fairly weighted, so I do admit to having used it as a weighted blanket during a couple of my naps.

The picture below is a testament to the blankets absorption. While that amount of liquid may not look like much, I can assure you, it was, and the blanket sucked it ALL up! I was thrilled. Plus, because if the material, it didn’t bunch up, or inch away, no mater how much I thrashed around.

For those of you who love to get messy, or just get messy naturally, like me, this blanket is a MUST for your collection. It comes in 3 different sizes and there are 3 different color combos, so you have an abundance of customization options. I am so happy that I have something now that helps me feel comfortable being a squirter.


You can get the No More Wet Spot Waterproof Blanket HERE


I was sent the No More Wet Spot Waterproof Blanket for free in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!

Categories
Affiliate Blog Posts Product Review Sex Toys

Zumio X

The first time I used this toy, was awkward. For some reason the battery only lasted about 10 minutes. Luckily, after a second full charge, everything sorted itself out and my experience was much more…pleasurable. Plus, any toy that makes me cum twice, no matter how difficult, is solid in my book.

The Zumio X is made of ABS plastic and silicone. It has a usb charging base, which is so cool, because all you have to do is set the toy in the base and you’re good to go. Because of the non plug style charger, the Zumio X is 100% waterproof, so loads of fun times can be had in the bath, shower, etc. The Zumio does not vibrate, it rotates, using the SpiroTip rotation. This makes it so the sensation is never a dull buzz and you’ll never have an issue with handle vibration. This toy is also meant to be super intense and that it is. There are 8 rotation speeds and I was only able to tolerate the first…yikes.

This is probably one of the most intense toys I’ve ever tried, which is awesome, since that’s its goal. I love that the whole toy isn’t too big and it’s very easy to hold. The whole thing isn’t too complicated either. One button controls the power and the other 2 control the speeds, that’s it. There are no intricate patterns or weird extra buttons to push. When I used it the ‘real’ first time, I tried the 60 second orgasm method that they demonstrate in the instruction manual, and while it wasn’t 60 seconds, it was definitely quick and amazing.

Another really great thing about the Zumio X is the many uses. Yes, you can use this toy for a regular, solo, clitoral orgasm, but you can also use it for other forms of stimulation. When I tested it, I ran it all over my body to test its foreplay abilities. Oh my was it amazing. Using it on my nipples, lips, even over my thighs, it was like a whole solo foreplay session. Huge bonus. Plus, it’s also slim enough that you could use it during partnered play in between your bodies.

Unfortunately this is a toy that does not cater to all body types. Yes, it’s slim, nice to hold, and the buttons are easy to press, but that’s about it. My biggest issue with this version of the Zumio is that the tip was way too small for my clit size and the ABS plastic gets very slick. I have a decently large clit which swells and changes with arousal, and when I find a spot I love, I need to stay there. With this toy I found it difficult to keep it in a certain spot, because while it was hitting it, it would slip very easily and it was almost too precise, so I wasn’t getting surrounding stimulation.

If you enjoy pinpoint stimulation this is a wonderful toy. I am VERY excited to try the other version of the Zumio, specifically because of my body type. Otherwise, I really enjoy this toy. It has so many uses both partnered and solo, so you’ll definitely never get bored.


You can get the Zumio X right HERE 


I was sent the Zumio X for free in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!


ARTWORK AND PHOTOGRAPHS ARE BY ME! PLEASE ASK BEFORE USE!

Categories
Blog Posts Product Review Sex Toys

Paloqueth – Wearable Vibrator

The Paloqueth Wearable Vibe is almost perfect. It’s long enough to fit inside of my labia, which is unusual. The part that goes inside, against the g-spot, is the perfect thickness and has the perfect structure. The clit sucking part is also very fun.

The Wearable Vibe is magnetically rechargeable and waterproof. It has 4 in of insertable length and the whole toy that goes against the labia and the clit is about 4 in as well. It is made of a silky smooth silicone for body safety and easy cleaning. There are 10 internal patterns and 10 clit sucking patterns. It also comes with a battery-operated remote which actually works surprisingly well!

The interior vibe sits against my g-spot perfectly! It’s not too hard it’s not too soft but it is very flexible at the base. I was able to move around a lot when it was inserted which is always great especially with the wearable vibe. It’s got to be comfortable! Also, the remote worked super well when the toy was inside me which is actually surprising.

Here is where things get a little unfortunate. The clitoral sucking portion is just ok. I mean don’t get me wrong, the amount that it buzzes and the amount that it sucks is actually really nice. Plus the fact that it has it’s it’s almost raised against the clit is really clever. Unfortunately, I have a wider area down there so my clit is a little bit further away from my vaginal opening. Any two in one toys are usually not very good for me and this is one of them. The clitoral sucking hole was about a half inch to an inch away from my clit depending on my position, and that’s not good for anybody. Fortunately, when I was wearing it, the clitoral part was vibrating the area around my clit, so that was nice. Still, to have it be directly on my clit, I have to do a lot of moving and adjusting to get it there.

The one thing I will give this is that it actually stays in, comfortably! Most wearable or panty vibes don’t stay in for me because they’re way too small. This one has about 4 or 5 inches of flexible silicone around the base, which snugly fits inside my labia. I was actually able to walk around and function with it in. With other vibes, that’s almost impossible.

Overall I would really recommend this toy. While the clitoral piece isn’t for everyone the internal vibe is very pleasant and the whole thing is very comfortable to wear for long periods of time. If you’re looking for that public play or foreplay or whatever you want to use it for, it’s a really nice. It’s also really good if you want to wear it for anal because you can wear this to stimulate your vagina and your clit, then have someone or something be poking your butt. That would be so wonderful! I haven’t tried it but I’m definitely going to!


I was sent the Wearable Vibe for free in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!


Categories
Blog Posts Coupon Code Discount Meme Product Review Sex Positive Sex Toys

Sweet Vibrations – The Perfect Match

The perfect match is, quite literally, my perfect match. I usually hate rabbit vibes but this one was the first one I’ve ever been able to get off to the way it was intended. This whole company has been so wonderful. Even their packaging is gorgeous! Every toy comes with a nicely organized instruction packet, a usb charge cable, a very sturdy storage bag, AND a spare usb wall plug. It’s still blowing my mind.

The Perfect Match is made of a super soft and flexible medical grade silicone. It is rechargeable with a charge that lasts up to 2.5 hours, so you can use this product uninterrupted for a really long time. It’s also waterproof, so, like me, if you want to experiment with your favorite toys in the bath or shower, you can. It 10 vibration patterns and each tip has its own motor, so you’re never at a loss for power.

I don’t know if there’s anything extremely negative to say about this, so I think I’ll just get that out of the way first. Maybe the one thing I’ll say is at the handle could be a little bit bigger or a little bit longer. When the toy is fully inside me and I’m drenched, it can be a bit hard to hold onto. Also, the button seems to be in a fairly awkward place. When I REALLY get into using it, sometimes I find myself clicking the button, which changes the pattern, which is never good mid climax.

Overall, this toy is mostly perfect! The super flexible clitoral piece was actually able to reach my clit, which is still surprising because of my past experiences with rabbit vibes. Usually rabbit vibes either don’t reach my clit, or they end up hurting because of the lack of flexibility. Also, the internal vibe was wonderful. It’s perfectly shaped and, while still being very flexible, it is sturdy enough to hit my g-spot with ease. With there being 2 separate motors, one in each tip, I was able to feel the vibrations throughout my bits. Plus, the vibrations are a very nice rumble, versus a clit numbing buzz. The patterns also worked really well with my natural rhythm.

If you didn’t get it from the rest of this post, you should buy this toy!! You should honestly buy everything from Sweet Vibrations because they are, somehow, revolutionizing sex toys for all bodies. Their toys, this one specifically, are comfortable for anyone and the quality is amazing. Also, you can’t complain about body safe toys being expensive, because this thing will only set you back $40 WITH a lifetime warranty!


From now until the end of February 2020, you can get 15% off your order by using the code ‘PINKSPACE’ here!


I was sent the Perfect Match for free in exchange for my honest review. If you wish for me to review one or more of your products, contact me! I would love to hear from you!


Categories
Blog Posts List Other Sexual Wellness

Budget Kink

We all want to spice up our sex life once in a while, but sometimes we just don’t have the means to get super fancy. That’s why I’m writing this post. I want you to be able to have as much fun as possible, in and out of the bedroom, with your partner(s). I know there are loads of these types of posts out there, but it never hurts to have more options.

When you’re looking for new items to freshen things up, always be aware of safety. Make sure you’re not putting unsafe items into your body, or using items in a way that could injure you. For this reason, I am just going to list some of the objects that I have used in the past, and some safe ways of using said objects.

Ice Cubes

Ice cubes are REALLY fun for sensation play. Our bodies are naturally warm, so putting anything on them that immediately cools, will make for a wonderful feeling. On the body, you can run the ice cubes against the skin, or you can hold the ice cubes in your hand above your partner, letting the cold water drip on them. The latter never fails to get a really fun gasp out of me when the first drip hits my skin. For oral it’s pretty simple. Just hold the ice cube in your mouth before going to town on your partner. The ice cube will have cooled your tongue to be just different enough for an amazing feeling on the genitals.

Kitchen Utensils

Kitchen utensils work as a great introduction to impact play before investing in the more ‘normal’ or ‘kinkier’ toys. You can use silicone spatulas, wooden spoons, metal icing tool for cakes, etc. The options are pretty limitless. Just keep in mind safety, as I have mentioned before and will continue mentioning until I am blue in the face. Do your research. Figure out the safe zones on the body, especially when diving into any form of impact play.

Scarf, Neck Tie, Sleeping Mask, ETC

This category is very unspecific. You can use multiple items for multiple uses. You can use scarves, neck ties, a sleeping mask, or, hell, even a t shirt if you have one that is large and thin enough. Make a blindfold and play with different sensations, use a scarf or necktie to make some easy hand cuffs, the sky is the limit. There is no reason why you should need to purchase anything for these types of basic play. Plus it can be really sexy and fun.

Clothes pins

Clothes pins are…very interesting. This is something that I would only recommend for the people who can handle a little bit of pain, because they’re not gentle. My favorite way of using clothes pins is on my nipples, but ever since I got actual nipple clamps, they haven’t seen much use. Some of the other, kinkier, uses for clothes pins could be full body clamping or labial pinching. Like I said, probably not for the vanilla players, but hey, you never know if something’s your kink until you try it.

Bonus: Spanking

I really wanted to add something to this list that wasn’t an object. Spanking doesn’t require anything except a little knowledge and your hand. You might think, why spanking? Well, for one, it’s really fun, and two, it’s a lot more complicated than one might think. There’s the basic spank of hand to ass cheek, but have you thought about changing it up a bit? Play with the way your fingers are spread out, learn the different areas that are safe to spank on and around the bum. There’s so much more to spanking than just the basic way you see in movies or even in porn (because lets be fair, some porn can be fairly vanilla, unless you know where to look).


I am not an expert in anything. These are just my opinions and my experiences. If you have any questions, please do your own research and ask the proper people. I am not responsible for any injury that may or may not occur in using the objects and items mentioned above.

Categories
Blog Posts ETC Sex Positive Talk

(Q&A) Can you tell me more about strap-ons?

This is one of the topics that I, unfortunately, know nothing about. Because of that, I reached out to fellow sex bloggers for the information. I was super grateful to @kelvinsparks_ for helping me out on this one!

So, put simply, a strap-on is a combination of a toy used for penetration (usually a dildo), and a harness to keep it attached to one person’s body. Strap-ons have existed for thousands of years- there’s evidence of them existing in Ancient Greece, and even as far back as the Upper Paleolithic. While they’ve historically had a reputation for being a toy exclusively for cisgender lesbians, strap-ons can be used by people of all genders, bodies, and sexual orientations for any number of reasons. 

Anyone can wear a strap-on, and you can use a strap-on to penetrate a partner of any gender with any kind of body. You can use a strap-on for vaginal penetration, anal penetration, oral penetration, or even for manual sex. Plenty of cis straight men enjoy being anally penetrated by a cis female partner wearing a strap-on, transmasculine people of all orientations may enjoy using a strap-on for gender euphoria reasons, cisgender men may enjoy wearing one to offset difficulties with erectile dysfunction or to have double-penetrative sex, and transfeminine people may enjoy wearing one as a way to have penetrative sex without interacting directly with their genitals, or to offset the difficulties with erectile dysfunction that oestrogen hormone replacement therapy can cause.

A strap-on consists of two parts- the harness and the dildo- and while you can get “kits” that include both, it’s useful to discuss each separately. The dildo has a flared based, and the harness typically has an O shaped ring that the dildo can be threaded through.

Harness come in three general styles- three strap/jockstrap, two strap/thong, and underwear style harnesses. The three strap/jockstrap has loops around the waist and each leg, which allows for a lot of customisation of fit, leaves the wearer exposed for additional stimulation, and provides a lot of control. A two strap/thong style harness has one loop around the waist and one between the legs. While it doesn’t leave the wearer exposed some people enjoy the stimulation from the middle strap, and two strap harnesses still provide a reasonable amount of control. Finally, underwear style harnesses are designed to fit like a pair of normal underwear, and available in boxer brief styles or more feminine styles. They are easier to put on, as they’re strap free, but offer less support, so are less suited to larger or heavier dildos.

There are of course other styles of harness, such as boot harnesses, thigh harnesses, hand harnesses, or even harness masks. To make sure a harness fits properly, check both the size of your waist and hips, and the minimum and maximum diameter that the harness’ O-ring can accommodate. Some harnesses do have swappable O-rings, but either way you want the toy to fit in snugly without moving around. 

When getting a dildo for your first strap-on, the best measurement to look at is girth, not length. The partner being penetrated doesn’t have to take the whole length of the dildo, but they will have to take the girth. You’ll lose a bit of the length from just wearing it in a harness, and having some excess length to play with will make positioning and thrusting easier to figure out. Fingers are a good way to figure out sizing- can the partner being penetrated comfortable take one, two, or three fingers? A whole fist? The diameter of however many they can comfortably take is a good indicator of the diameter of the right dildo for you. Make sure that the dildo diameter and base fit into your harness O-ring, and make sure that your dildo is made from a body safe material like silicone. 

Visit Kelvin Sparks

Website – https://kelvinsparks.com/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/kelvinsparks_
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/kelvinsparks_/

Categories
Adult Content Blog Posts ETC Sex Sex Positive Sexual Wellness

Being a Squirter

First things first, I’m not here to tell you what squirting is. A few minutes on Google will bring up so many websites that will tell you, in way more detail, what squirting is and different ways to do it. I am simply going to tell you about my life as a squirter and what that means, for me.

I’ve always been able to squirt and, to me, being a squirter means making a huge mess. I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not it’s actually pee (which it totally isn’t…I think), I’ve been worshiped for it, and mocked for it. Needless to say, I have a mixed history with with squirting. I also feel like I squirt…weird. Almost every single website about ‘how to squirt’ makes it seem like it’s only a g-spot thing. That isn’t the case with me. I ONLY squirt from clitoral orgasms.

I recently posted a blog about my lack of orgasm. I am still (sort of) unsure about why I have such a hard time. I deduced that mental illness and medications may be mostly to blame, but I didn’t want that to just be the end of it. I kept experimenting and really trying to understand my body more. After a few weeks of that, I had the realization that sometimes I lose my orgasm because am a squirter. Not in the ‘I’ve squirted a little a few times’ kind of way, but in the way that, for me, is actually sort of embarrassing. I make a huge mess and knowing that prevents me from fully letting go.

I’ve only squirted with a couple of my partners (mostly because I was faking almost all my orgasms from go to 20, but that’s a story for another time). The first time I squirted in front of someone and not just by myself, the look on their face was pure joy. I still don’t understand why since it’s so normal for me and I had seen it so many times in porn. I thought ‘isn’t this what everyone does?’. Oh boy was I wrong. I got an ear full after that.

Unfortunately, I learned that being a squirter isn’t always such a magical thing. At one point I squirted so hard there was HUGE spot of the bed covered in it. I was so surprised at the amount that I texted my boyfriend at the time with a photo. His response was “I hope you’re cleaning that up…”, which he meant as a joke, but I did not take it that way. I was so insecure about the fact that it happens that I didn’t do it again for months. I felt disgusting.

While that definitely left me with some scarring, I bounced back fairly quickly on the orgasm front. I learned new ways to have orgasms that didn’t involve squirting and, even though it was definitely difficult to control something that comes naturally to me, I managed, until recently.

Ever since I figured that out, and become ok with it, I’ve been able to have way more orgasms. Yes, I mess up the sheets almost every time I come, but I don’t always have that mental wall blocking me. If you need to squirt, fucking squirt. While some people may not like it (I suggest mentioning it before you get freaky with someone), anyone who makes you feel like shit about it doesn’t deserve your come all over them.

My advice to anyone who wants to squirt is experiment with yourself, let yourself go, and invest in some amazing clean up towels, which I will be doing a review for later on. There is more than one way to squirt and you need to find your way, and if you can’t, don’t worry, not everyone can. The hardest part about accepting this about myself is that it needs to happen. If I don’t squirt once in a while, my body literally starts rejecting my orgasms. It’s great…

Categories
Between the Sheets Blog Posts ETC Sex Positive Sexual Wellness Talk

How Much Sex is ‘Normal’? (BTS #2)

Question: How much sex is normal?

I have said this so many times, especially when it comes to sex and kink, there is no such thing as normal. Normal is whatever you want it to be. If you’re married with 3 kids, ‘normal’ might be once a month. If you’re newly dating someone you find insanely attractive, ‘normal’ might be once per day. That isn’t including SO many other factors that come into play. The most important thing is any relationship is communication. Only you can know what you need and what works for you.

Because this is such a common question, I really wanted to get other peoples opinions and advice on it. I reached out to Korppi King and Kaja Echo to help me put into words what a ‘normal’ sex life might look like. Read what these awesome humans have to say about it below!

Korppi King*

This is not an easy question to answer, because there really isn’t a right answer. How much sex is normal to someone depends entirely upon the person, their partners, and even elements of their environment and upbringing. Despite the repetition of sexual standards in magazines, movies, and sitcoms, sex isn’t a one-size-fits-all thing. Sure, books and magazines will tell you that a married couple should be having sex at least three times a week, and you’ll hear people say that you should have at least three orgasms a day, but, in reality, it’s difficult to say how much is too little, just enough or too much without taking individuality into account. Sex and how often you have it is a question of complex, personal, and dynamic rhythms and desires that you can’t really quantify with an easy answer.  

Sexual appetite varies from person to person, as does our need for sex within a relationship (if, in fact, that’s how you’re choosing to have sex). Some people need sex. Some people don’t. Some people don’t like sex physically, but may feel attraction to other people. Some people don’t feel sexual attraction or desire, but may or may not enjoy the physical sensations associated with sex. And taking our masturbation habits and our nuanced definitions of the word “sex” into consideration only muddies the situation further. Do we count masturbation in our measurement of our appetite for sex? Or do we count only the acts we perform with other people? In that case, where do we draw the line—mutual masturbation, hand jobs, cunnilingus, or just penetrative sex? No matter how we define and measure sex, the answer will still be different for everyone. Just look at the sexual appetites in my own house, for example. I usually want or need to have sex every other day if not once a day. Sometimes more often. Of my two partners, one needs to have sex about five times a week and the other (typically) wants or needs it much less often. None of us is right or wrong. There’s not really a baseline from which any of us deviates. We’re all just different from each other in how much sex we want.

Environmental, emotional, physical and mental changes can also impact our sex lives. Whether it’s a change in our diet or daily routine or a psychological event or change, our sexual appetites respond to fluctuations in and around us. Some people, for example, respond to depression and anxiety by shutting down their sexual systems. Some people have the completely opposite reaction. Even if we don’t realize it, our health, self image, energy level and mindset plays a big part in how aroused and arousing we feel. And so do changes in around relationships or in our routines with each other. I can’t tell you how much my libido spiked when one of my partners and I took ballroom dance classed together—nor can I try to explain how little sexual energy I felt when the same partner and I went to a tantric sex workshop just a month later. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense—and maybe it’s a change we don’t even notice—but it impacts our sex life and temporarily changes our definition of normal.

Simply put, there is no normal. Not for everyone. Instead of asking yourself how much sex is normal, try asking “How much sex is healthy and comfortable for me?” Ask yourself first if your needs are met and if you are comfortable and satisfied without the amount of sex you’re having. If the answer to those questions is yes, ask yourself if the amount of sex you have is hurting you, hurting someone else, or hampering your ability to function in the rest of your life at or above your functionality baseline. If the answer is no, it could be worth taking some time to reevaluate your sex attitudes and routines.

Kaja Echo

Most of us have deeply ingrained, socially reinforced ideas about how much and what kind of sex we should be having. Media of all kinds is constantly showing us imagery of happy couples boning for hours every single day of the week. We’re also told that if you want sex *too* much, there must be something wrong with you. It’s hard to navigate these images without the feeling that you’re coming up short in some way.

So what’s the “right” amount of sex to have? What is normal? If you do a Google search using the question posed, you’ll find millions of results and article after article about sexual desire and communication. Everyone has a different opinion and many of these opinions change from year to year.

The level of sexual desire one has will always vary! There is no “normal.” Strike that word from your vocabulary now. Whatever you enjoy safely and consensually is a-okay!

If you feel that you’re not having enough sex, take an inventory of how you’re feeling overall. Have you been sick recently or do you have a chronic illness or disability that makes having sex less than optimal for you at times? Are you stressed about things going on at work or at home? Maybe you’re just plain tired and not getting enough sleep. If you have a partner(s), how’s your relationship going? Are you feeling disconnected in any way? It might be a good time to do an emotional check-in with your partner about how you’re both feeling if you haven’t been getting it on recently. They might also be experiencing a low sex drive or their own stresses or aches. Communicate your needs and see if that helps you get back on track.

If you feel that you’re having *too* much sex, well… you probably aren’t unless it’s distressing to you, you’re finding it difficult to accomplish other, non-sexual things, or it’s physically hurting you and/or your partner(s). If everything’s cool on those fronts, I say keep on having fun and don’t worry that you’re abnormal. You’re not. You just like a lot of sex!

I recommend some time and energy devoted to determining what amount of sex feels right to you. Do some journaling; make some notes about your own desire. How much sex feels healthy? Are there times when your drive is overwhelming? Are you worried about your lack of libido? What might stand in the way? 

It’s also really important to ask these questions of yourself before communicating with your partner(s) about what you need and want. But I do highly recommend discussing these issues with your partner and checking in about what works for them. 

All in all, dear reader, I hope you know that ideas of what’s “normal” shift over time and are based on social mores of whatever time we’re living in. The frequency with which most adults have sex now would probably be unheard of a hundred years ago. And a hundred years from now, it will be different again. As long as you’re staying safe and healthy and consensual, have as much or as little sex as you’d like. It’s ALL good!

Kaja Echo
Yespleasemore.net
kaja@yespleasemore.net
Twitter: @kajaecho


*Unfortunately, after finishing this piece I found out that Korppi King is no longer on social media. If she ever decides to recreate her social media profiles, I will update this post with her new information!


If you have a question or need something answered here on ‘Between the Sheets’, please email me at thepinkspacelime@gmail.com.

If you would like to be an contributor to ‘Between the Sheets’ you can also contact me at thepinkspacelime@gmail.com